Maturity level helps determine if a child can stay home alone

When to leave a child at home alone is a difficult decision, said Debbie Richardson, Oklahoma State University Cooperative Extension Service parenting assistant specialist.

“Unfortunately there is no ‘magic’ age at which children are ready to be home alone,” Richardson said. “With school nearly over, many parents who work outside of the home may be asking themselves if their child could stay home this summer.”

She said one of the first things to consider is if the child has indicated a desire and willingness to stay home alone. Children who become frightened easily or have voiced concern about being alone most likely are not ready for this responsibility.

Children who show signs of accepting responsibility, make decisions independently, get ready for school on time, solve problems on their own and complete homework and household chores with minimum supervision are demonstrating some of the skills they will need to care for themselves.

Richardson said for some children, these skills begin to appear between the ages of 10 and 12, while it is later for other children.

“Even if parents see signs of maturity and are considering self-care for their child, there are other things they need to consider,” she said. “Keep in mind the neighborhood in which you live, the availability of nearby adults and how long your child will be alone. If your neighborhood is unsafe, if there aren’t adults nearby to call in case of an emergency, or if he or she must remain home alone for a long period of time, you may want to consider using some form of child care even if the child seems ready to stay alone.”

Parents need to know how their child will react in situations such as being locked out of the house, being afraid or being bored or lonely. For children who will be staying at home, make sure to establish rules regarding leaving the house, inviting friends over, cooking and using other kitchen equipment, snacking, using the telephone and completing assigned chores.

In addition, children who will be home alone need to have a list of emergency telephone numbers, how to respond if someone calls, knowledge of what to say in an emergency situation and know when it is appropriate to call a parent or other adult for help.

“Safety is another key issue to discuss with your child. They should know how to lock and unlock all doors and windows, what to do if they think someone is in the house when they get home or what to do if approached by a stranger while outside of the home,” Richardson said. “Providing them with this knowledge will help give them the confidence in their ability to handle any emergency situation that may arise. Do some role playing with your child by pretending to be a stranger at the door asking to use the telephone or a salesman who wants to leave brochures or samples of a product.”

After parents have helped their child acquire the skills needed to stay alone, set up a trial period of self care to determine how your child reacts to the situation. By presenting it as a temporary arrangement, the child knows they can choose not to continue with the arrangement if he or she is uncomfortable staying alone.

“Children who are mentally and emotionally ready to stay alone can gain much from the opportunity to care for themselves,” Richardson said.

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Oklahoma State University, U.S. Department of Agriculture, State and Local Governments Cooperating: The Oklahoma Cooperative Extension Service offers its programs to all eligible persons regardless of race, color, national origin, religion, gender, age, disability, or status as a veteran, and is an equal opportunity employer.

Trisha Gedon
Communications Specialist
Agricultural Communications Services
136 Agriculture North
Oklahoma State University
Stillwater, OK  74078
405-744-3625 (phone)
405-744-5739 (fax)
trisha.gedon@okstate.edu